Apparently social networking sites like Facebook are outlets for narcissistic individuals. A recent study from York University’s Soraya Mehdizadeh, B.Sc., recently published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, found that individuals with narcissistic personalities reported greater online activity and self-promotional content. I plan on writing an angry letter to this researcher – right after I upload more pictures of my adorable baby girl, detail what I had for lunch in my next status update, and remind all my friends to follow my blog.
It might be an enjoyable exercise to get all academic about this and provide a detailed criticism of Mehdizadeh’s methodology, starting with the limited sample size (100 Facebook users) and even more limited universe (only York University students). I could even challenge the use of self reporting that was the basis of personality classification, then rip apart the conclusions and begin spewing statistical terms until the author – nay, the entire social networking research community – begs for mercy. But all that would require me to read more than just the abstract, and, quite frankly, I’m already starting to lose interest. Instead, I’m just going to make some haphazard conclusions based on the eight sentences I read. God, I love the Internet.
Of course people with an exaggerated sense of self worth are going to use Facebook to promote themselves. They also use the telephone, lunchroom, elevator, and occasional strategically placed banners and personalized balloons. Holy Zaphod Beeblebrox, they are narcissists! They are the most awesome people they know, just ask them. What did you expect, the occasional post about earthworms?
Speaking of narcissism, can someone explain to me why anyone seeking employment would willingly post compromising photographs of themselves on Facebook? Look, I know you had a great time at that party. Those glazed eyes, unbuttoned blouse, and stack of beer cans and bottles that resembles a modern art project sponsored by Anheuser-Busch tell a great tale. Unfortunately, in the Information Age, it’s probably not the story you want to share with the person on the other side of the desk who is deciding whether or not to trust you with the keys to their building.
These days, it’s just too easy for potential employers to peruse social media sites, and search engines add that much more access to you and your naughty adventures. You may not have six degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon, but someone in that company might be able to access your Facebook page, particularly if a friend has recommended you for the job. Believe me, most industries are smaller than you think, and social media sites have become quite the pervasive networking tool. Yes, I understand there are privacy settings and such, but why take the chance? You might think your photos are just a harmless exercise in narcissism, but it could make a difference between getting a job and bumming another round from your Facebook friends.
By the way, ladies, don’t think I haven’t noticed your subversive networking on Facebook. Every few months, a gaggle of women folk will start posting seemingly random thoughts. Pink. Red. Blue. I like it on the coffee table. I like it on the kitchen counter. I like it hanging on the bedroom door. Then, as more and more of these random thoughts begin to appear in the news feed, it become apparent that they aren’t random at all. Now, it’s up to the rest of us to channel our inner Robert Langdon and try to crack the code. What are they talking about? What could it possibly mean? Is there some sort of Internet-based Rosetta Stone that can help sort all this out?
Eventually, some aspiring student of symbology figures it out and everyone learns it was just a simple description without context, such as the color of the underwear the woman is wearing at the time or the place where a woman leaves her purse when she comes home. It is interesting to note, however, that this type of behavior is never initiated by men. For one thing, we are far too disorganized to even attempt such a feat, let alone successfully coordinate its execution. But more importantly, we lack the subtlety that such an exercise would require.
Mark my words, any attempt by men to disseminate a coded humorous phrase over a social network would, without a doubt, result in an unveiled reference to flatulence or genitalia. For example, “I like to have friends, small children, or complete strangers pull my finger when I do it.” Or perhaps, “I like to put it in a woman’s vagina.” Scientists will no doubt find this innate lack of refinement stems from the fact that men do not carry purses, rarely (if ever) check the color of their underwear, and generally prefer to sit on the couch watching football instead of wasting valuable football watching time trying to be clever. I look forward to reading the abstract.
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